I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
