I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Every concussion has its silver lining
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize