did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If I had your ass I would rule the world
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
