we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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