so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize