remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
