finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
