that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
