Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize