That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
