The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Princesses don't give blow jobs
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
