So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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