You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
