Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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