i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize