i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
NoShamevember. You game?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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