She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
