Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
