smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
