he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
