At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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