I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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