I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
