Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You were trust falling into bushes
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
