Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
