She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize