hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
