Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize