and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i think i just lost a toe
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
