So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I wish there were birth control emojis
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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