What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
