yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
