He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm passing your future prison.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
