i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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