Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick

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  (973): oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick http://tfl.nu/qy0n
  Replies (21) Good night (1738) Bad night (464)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  singing on the bus should be illegal

  (607): View more from New York

  huh?

  (727): View more from Florida

  There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down

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  (727): singing on the bus should be illegal (607): huh? (727): There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down http://tfl.nu/vlmd
  Replies (58) Good night (1030) Bad night (4115)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.

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  (847): I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help. http://tfl.nu/0kqr
  Replies (14) Good night (757) Bad night (2849)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class

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  (727): I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class http://tfl.nu/b4xz
  Replies (49) Good night (5385) Bad night (868)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD

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  (845): Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD http://tfl.nu/xg03
  Replies (18) Good night (6358) Bad night (665)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?

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  (812): Have you seen my high heels that I wore out? (1-812): You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave? http://tfl.nu/rqvo
  Replies (15) Good night (7342) Bad night (901)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.

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  (505): he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment. http://tfl.nu/v3fi
  Replies (11) Good night (4378) Bad night (760)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy

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  (937): She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy http://tfl.nu/3zlc
  Replies (9) Good night (1124) Bad night (2928)
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  (481): View more from

  I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW

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  (481): I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW http://tfl.nu/doc5
  Replies (8) Good night (2083) Bad night (529)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass

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  (541): definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass http://tfl.nu/ukpo
  Replies (6) Good night (1559) Bad night (700)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."

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  (248): She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November." http://tfl.nu/2gt1
  Replies (5) Good night (2460) Bad night (599)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.

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  (832): Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles. http://tfl.nu/3k5e
  Replies (4) Good night (1586) Bad night (446)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.

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  (407): Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake. http://tfl.nu/hj3n
  Replies (10) Good night (1075) Bad night (563)
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  (682): View more from Texas

  I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.

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  (682): I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life. http://tfl.nu/x9h1
  Replies (10) Good night (848) Bad night (321)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  ....you got kicked INTO a party??

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  (306): so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay. (1-306): ....you got kicked INTO a party?? http://tfl.nu/nppd
  Replies (1) Good night (719) Bad night (184)

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