I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.