Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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