eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
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and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
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You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?