guess who came home with a hottie last night
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"