i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
