Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B

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  (305): I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B http://tfl.nu/epjn
  Replies (35) Good night (1226) Bad night (3559)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.

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  (636): 12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome. http://tfl.nu/wffb
  Replies (10) Good night (2797) Bad night (926)
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  (510): View more from California

  he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.

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  (510): he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted. http://tfl.nu/vxmy
  Replies (46) Good night (951) Bad night (5831)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.

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  (435): Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage. http://tfl.nu/k0ri
  Replies (5) Good night (1951) Bad night (796)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals

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  (954): He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals http://tfl.nu/66nw
  Replies (59) Good night (3742) Bad night (3205)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.

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  (702): She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note. http://tfl.nu/7aam
  Replies (9) Good night (4816) Bad night (911)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.

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  (612): These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit. http://tfl.nu/pqn2
  Replies (9) Good night (1448) Bad night (4044)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him

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  (803): Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him http://tfl.nu/31nh
  Replies (23) Good night (4870) Bad night (2106)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird

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  (630): Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird http://tfl.nu/yn9e
  Replies (5) Good night (777) Bad night (1650)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Fuck he won the bet

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  (775): He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors (1-775): Fuck he won the bet http://tfl.nu/9wz5
  Replies (18) Good night (2597) Bad night (1071)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.

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  (303): I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day. http://tfl.nu/g7z2
  Replies (2) Good night (759) Bad night (536)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack

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  (502): Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack http://tfl.nu/0ld5
  Replies (3) Good night (895) Bad night (701)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?

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  (306): your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple? http://tfl.nu/b4ff
  Replies (15) Good night (930) Bad night (415)
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  (+55): View more from

  you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works

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  (+55): you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works http://tfl.nu/gh4c
  Replies (2) Good night (806) Bad night (288)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.

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  (281): So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition. http://tfl.nu/1z8i
  Replies (0) Good night (474) Bad night (199)

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