Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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