brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
