the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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