i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
