fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
