U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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