your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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