Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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