they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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