I haven't been this sober since birth.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
