just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
