If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
