Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
