Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
