I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
