and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
