So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
