the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
