i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
