I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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