So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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