Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
im six kinds of drunk right now
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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