Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
