I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
