Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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