She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
