i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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